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SATIRE: Australian Coal given halal certification

MINING Industry representatives have announced halal certification for all Australian coal as of today.

The $2.1 billion program includes certification for all rock already mined and 150 full-time officials whose primary role will be certifying new coal as it is mined.

From today, all coal-powered plants will be generating electricity in a halal-friendly fashion.

Coal Industry Solutions Chief Operations Officer Cam Inmae said the move hoped to “broaden the appeal of Australian Coal in new markets.”

“Diversity has always been a key goal within our industry and the halal certification of the coal we use in our power stations is an important part of that.

“We’re also excited to be creating jobs here in Australia, especially within the Muslim community.”

$500 million of the plan’s funding has been sourced from Government grants tabled for job creation in the recent budget.

Treasury official Doug Ittall praised the mining industry for its inclusive community attitudes and “creative job creation strategies”.

“This is a prime example of industry-driven job creation and what can happen when the community works with companies instead of against them.

“Halal isn’t just a community imperative, it’s also a commercial reality we need to embrace if we want to see growth for all Australians.”

Anti-halal campaigner Anne Grepunta slammed the plan, calling it “direct government support for terrorist groups.”


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