The New York Mafia has recently stepped up security throughout old Italian neighborhoods in the wake of their stated intend to fight the terrorist organization here in the United States. Recently, patrols of Italian men have taken to the streets across the greater New York area in an effort to not only keep their neighborhoods safe and secure from ISIS terrorists, but to also improve the image that the mafia has.
Local old Italian man, Michael DeVanzo went on the record with Prntly reporters
“Look, who the hell are these ISIS guys eh? They think they can come into our Italian neighborhood well I swear on my mother’s eyes, God bless her soul, that they’ve got another thing coming.”
However, not everyone is happy with the effort to combat ISIS. Kelly Godson, a spokeswoman for Mayor Bill de Blasio issued the following statement on behalf of the Mayor.
“We condemn this sort of thing, these individuals are doing nothing but creating fear throughout the city and is not conducive to an inclusive and safe environment.”
Mayor de Blasio was later seen walking the grounds of Gracie Mansion (the mayoral residence) in a sweater and sweatpants while holding a crowbar, though city officials have told us that this was for unrelated reasons.
Armed with stickball bats and wearing tracksuits, groups of middle-aged Italian-Americans could be seen patrolling up and down the blocks of Brooklyn’s Park Slope neighborhood. The men also took a particular interest in beefing up defenses at the local bakery, Abruzzino’s Italian Bakery, a neighborhood establishment