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SATIRE: ISIS Leader Claims Trump Groped Him


MANHATTAN — Saying he had stayed silent for years out of shame, ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi accused Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump of groping him and making unwanted sexual advances more than a decade ago. “I was alone with Mr. Trump at a rally against the Iraq war in 2003 when he just grabbed me,” said a tearful al-Baghdadi. “I always blamed myself.”

Trump immediately denied al-Baghdadi’s claim.

“Just look at him,” Trump noted. “I mean, his beard is awful. He’s balding. He’s a fat pig. I would never grope someone that ugly.”

Trump’s alibi was called into question, however, when audio surfaced of the real estate mogul speaking to The Today Show host Billy Bush about his treatment of jihadists. “When I see a beautiful terrorist, let me tell you, I just grab them by the dick,” Trump


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